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The Best SEO & PPC Jokes

Chris Simmance

by Chris Simmance on 30th May 2013

ClownsWho says SEO isn’t fun?… Well a few people I suppose…. But what do they know! After winning Sitevisibility’s Brighton SEO joke competition I thought I would share some of the SEO & PPC related jokes I have come up with over the last few months. A few of the team also got involved with their own jokes. Some of these are hilarious…Others, not so much; but nonetheless I’m sharing them. Feel free to use the ‘Tweet This’ button to share them too!.. Even the bad ones!

These are all Kooztom-made for your entertainment so enjoy!

Panda & Penguin Jokes

How does @Google decide who to hit hardest with Penguin updates?….. Flipper Coin!
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What do the Pandas like to eat? [Bamboo] [Bamboo Shoots] [Bamboo Leaves] [Bamboo Stems]
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What do the Penguins @Google use to catch their fish?….Link Bait!
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What do you get if you cross a Penguin and a Panda? A Ranking Problem!!
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Why is it wrong to have lots of Pandas in the same cage at the Zoo? It could be considered stuffing!
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If fish is a Penguins’ favourite food what’s its least favourite?…SPAM
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Why have so many people Unfollowed Google Panda on Twitter? Because they post too many updates.
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Why have all Penguins been left out of the Antarctic world cup team? Because they cause too many penalties!
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SEO & PPC Puns

What does an SEO and part time chiropractor fix? Back links.
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A trampoline site got in touch …Yet another client that has a high bounce rate.
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Just got back from a #BrightonSEO. I was given room 404 in the hotel I stayed at. Couldn’t find it anywhere!
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What is an SEO’s favorite music?…Heavy Meta!
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Heathrow Airport called….They want us to add more landing pages!
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The local church emailed earlier… They wanted us to see if we can improve their Conversion Rates.
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Billboards4U sent some good feedback…Since starting SEO they’ve seen some real signs of improvement!
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What is a pirate’s favourite PPC metric? CT-Rrrrrrrrr
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A loft instalation site got in touch…they are having problems with their recent conversions.
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How many SEOs does it take to change a bulb, lightbulb, lightbulbs, lighting, lights
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The Army, apparently they’re experiencing problems with their rankings.
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The Army just had a site audit and their page hierarchy needs looking into.
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Learn To Fly .com have really seen their site’s rankings take off since starting an SEO project.
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Coffee Lovers .com are still having ranking problems. It all stems from the Caffeine update.
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The locksmith got in touch recently looking for new Keyword research to be done for his site.
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The England international football team got in touch. They need more goals set up… And don’t want penalties.
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The hospital emailed. They have seen a decrease in referrals from the local doctors.
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The local Chiropractor are using a few PPC ideas in their pricing structure. Cost per Click is one idea…
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A local variety act got in touch and they want to use PPC to get more Impressions for their shows. Tweet This

The parrot appreciation society got in touch. They are having duplicate content issues.
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A bed site has lost all their rankings. Apparently their site has a lot of downtime.
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Jokes from the team

Oliver EwbankJokes from Ollie;

What did the victim say to the SEO stalker? Nofollow!
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Knock knock. Who’s there? No one because all of your rankings have gone!
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What did the SEO say to the fire brigade about their rankings?… It’s a slow burn.
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Emma NorthOne from Emma;

Why did the Penguin attack the leopard? Because he thought it was the lynx.
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A few from Rob;

Rob ArkellWhat deodorant do SEO’s wear? Lynx
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Why did the SEO lose all of his friends? He was Anti-Social.
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What’s a pirates favourite part of SEO? WebinARGHHHHHHHSS
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I hope you have enjoyed these as much as I enjoyed putting them together. I think the team here at Koozai will be more than happy that I’ve stopped laughing to myself at my desk and sharing the ‘best ones’ with them!

Prove the nay-sayers wrong and share your jokes in the comments! I know there are some funny SEO people out there!!

 

Image Source

Clown by BigStock

Chris Simmance

Chris Simmance

Chris has worked in the travel industry for the last 8 years, much of that working overseas in ski resorts, so he has a fantastic understanding of thriving in competitive sectors. His last project was social media management and website development for a leading travel company.

25 Comments

  • Jenny Rogers 30th May 2013

    Great jokes, Chris! You’re right – some are truly terrible. But, they’ve given me a giggle on an otherwise dull Thursday morning.

    Reply to this comment

  • Moosa Hemani 30th May 2013

    Great work Chris!

    I love this one! “The hospital emailed. They have seen a decrease in referrals from the local doctors.”

    Reply to this comment

  • joe 30th May 2013

    So you are trying to be cool and attract some natural inbound links??LOL its a poor piece of content i have to say, publish my comment or i will tweet it ;)

    Reply to this comment

    • Chris Simmance

      Chris Simmance 30th May 2013

      Hi Joe,
      Thanks for the comment. It’s always good to add a bit of light hearted humour to the industry once in a while and it has gone down really well overall.

      As I said, some of the jokes are truly terrible (I even felt bad writing them) and that’s why they have been so well received I think.

      Nonetheless, thanks for engaging.

      Reply to this comment

  • Caroline Martin 30th May 2013

    Oh dear!
    Despite sharing these with my colleagues I still think they are terrible :-)

    There were a few Guilty-LOL’s though!

    Reply to this comment

  • Taylor Selway 30th May 2013

    Brilliant!

    My favourite was the parrot one! Relevant and funny!

    Reply to this comment

  • Chris Green 30th May 2013

    Why did Google bot come last in the 100m?

    Because it had to crawl all the way!

    Reply to this comment

  • Larry Kim 30th May 2013

    WebinAAaarghs!! (ha ha)

    Reply to this comment

  • Jimmy O 31st May 2013

    Groan….actually a lot of these were really funny. About time we get a little humor into this straight laced, so serious topic.

    Reply to this comment

  • mike litson 5th June 2013

    Why don’t sharks eat SEO’s?

    Professional courtesy

    What’s the difference between a politician and an SEO?

    One’s a lying cheating Charleton who fiddles costs, the others works in government…….

    The only two I remember, not particularly flattering to our industry mind XD

    Reply to this comment

  • Randy Smith 6th June 2013

    Lol those are great, and the list is well timed.

    Here’s a couple more…

    His SEO was so bad that he started trying to rank for the keyword Google, everyone looks for that.

    He finally noticed it wasn’t working when some yahoo wouldn’t chase him- even though he had been crawling for days

    Reply to this comment

  • Jenny Chawla 6th June 2013

    Haha.. Its cool! Specially Penguin and Panda jokes. Enjoyed! :)

    Reply to this comment

  • Sam B 6th June 2013

    Where do you hide a dead body?

    On the second page of Google.

    Reply to this comment

  • David @ Bring 7th June 2013

    The best we could come up with:

    “They call it the Panda update because it finds content that is a little bare”

    Works better out loud!

    Reply to this comment

  • Ana Hoffman 18th June 2013

    Love it, love it, love it, Chris – bookmarked and will drip-feed to social media. lol

    Reply to this comment

  • Charise Stevens 20th June 2013

    You just made my day!!! Keep it up!

    Reply to this comment

  • Jon Jones 24th June 2013

    Best one I have heard:

    A SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, restaurant, restaurants, lounge, tavern, pub, beer, liquor…

    Boom Boom

    Reply to this comment

  • Randy Smith 15th July 2013

    Here’s a great one, had to post it…

    Websites owned by politicians should have been hit by Penguin much harder for using irrelevant keywords. They do it all the time. Examples of these include: trust, honesty, integrity, and competence.

    Reply to this comment

  • James 11th September 2013

    Loving the jokes, I was sharing them with the office (only the SEO guys found it funny of course!)

    Here’s one:

    “What do you get when you cross a Penguin and a Panda?”

    “Nobody knows, it didn’t come up on Google!”

    Reply to this comment

  • Simon 16th May 2014

    Great jokes guys! Keep them coming

    Reply to this comment

  • Rosie 10th June 2014

    Haha great jokes thanks for sharing!

    Reply to this comment

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